The biggest turn ons for guys go far beyond physical appearance.
Of course, appearance definitely matters, but it’s surprisingly less important than you might think.
Ultimately, it’s your energy that matters the most.
A woman can be physically beautiful, but if she’s pessimistic, judgmental, dramatic, self-conscious, uptight, or exudes any other type or negative trait, you can bet that a decent guy is going to be turned off by that.
Every guy is unique, so one guy’s turn ons might be different from another guy, but overall most guys can agree on a several common trends.
The Biggest Turn Ons for Guys, Revealed
Once you understand what the biggest turn ons for guys are in general, you’ll be able to trigger his arousal almost seemingly on demand!
Here’s the list:
The difference between a confident women and a self-conscious woman is monumental.
Guys are far more drawn to a woman who loves herself and loves her life than a woman with good looks alone and an overall negative attitude about life.
Confidence is magnetic.
If you find yourself often wondering why you can’t keep a guy interested, it might be time to work on your relationship with yourself first to help build your confidence charge yourself up with that magnetic kind of energy.
Guys can’t resist a woman’s who’s playful.
Play is an integral component of sex, which is why guys love it so much.
It also helps bring some much needed to balance their mundane, hard-working, day-to-day lives, so they crave it more than they even know.
Physical touch goes a long way, especially in the early days of a relationship.
To guys, touch represents connection.
The simple act of placing your hand softly on his lap or holding his hand can be enough to invoke a strong desire for you in him.
4. Eye contact.
An inability to maintain eye contact signifies a lack of confidence or wanting to hide.
It’s the opposite of being open and receptive to a guy’s energy.
By maintaining eye contact with him, you’re sending the message that you’re warm and inviting — and you want to let him in.
5. Smiling seductively.
Smiling goes hand in hand with eye contact.
You can drive a guy wild just by locking eyes with him and flashing him a sly, suggestive smile.
Combine eye contact and smiling with playfulness and you’ve got yourself the basic recipe for being a really good flirt!
6. Wearing flattering clothes.
Flattering clothes are clothes that are the right size and fit for your body.
Guys want to see what you’ve got, and they want you to flaunt it in front of them.
Clothes that are flattering for your figure should also accentuate your best features while minimizing any areas that tend to make you look disproportionate.
Whether you’re apple-shaped, pear-shaped, or straight up and down, there lots of ways you can shake up your style to look curvy and sexy in all the right places.
7. Wearing red.
Red is arguably the most seductive colour and is known to trigger sexual desire in men.
So next time you plan a hot date, try adding some red into your outfit — whether you choose to do it by wearing a red top, a red dress, or even red lipstick.
8. Wearing anything that leaves a little to the imagination.
Guys definitely want you to flaunt what you’ve got, but they certainly don’t want you to let it all hang out in the open, all the time.
Sleek, dark jeans that really hug your hips or a low-cut top that gives him just a hint of cleavage are clever ways to get him fantasizing about what he can’t see.
9. Wearing your hair down.
There aren’t any rules about how to wear your hair, but most guys would probably agree that a woman’s sex appeal is automatically enhanced by a hairstyle that’s relaxed, feminine, and playful.
The easiest way to achieve that kind of hairstyle is by ditching the tight up-dos to embrace the length and volume of your hair.
He might be tempted to brush your hair back behind your ears, or you might add a little flirtatious body language int your date night by flipping your hair back or twirling a strand of hair around your finger while you talk to him.
10. Wearing natural looking makeup.
Sure, date night is often a great excuse to go all out with your favourite makeup look, but most guys secretly wish you’d keep it somewhat natural looking.
This doesn’t mean you can’t go for that bright red lipstick or that dramatic eyeshadow — it just means that you should probably pick one or the other to avoid overdoing it.
Guys want to see what you really look like, and they’d prefer not to get your makeup all over their lips/face/clothes/bedsheets later!
11. Wearing lingerie.
Once you’ve made it to the bedroom and are ready to get busy, guys couldn’t care less whether your bra matches your panties, but that doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate a sexy outfit and maybe a little striptease.
Wearing lingerie goes back to the point about leaving a little to the imagination.
You can find lingerie that flatters almost any body shape and size, and when you do, it will drive your guy crazy!
Lingerie is an invitation to look at you and take in your stunning, feminine beauty — which is exactly what he needs to get seriously turned on!
12. Having a healthy body image.
A woman who wears flattering clothes, flaunts her best features, and wears lingerie in front of her guy is a woman with a healthy body image.
Every guy wants the woman he’s with to love herself physically, including any perceived “flaws” she might have.
It’s a total turn on for a guy to see that a woman will let him see her fully nude and openly invite his touch.
Guys don’t judge women the way women judge themselves; when they see a woman they’re attracted to, all they can think about is how much she’s turning him on.
13. Kissing him on the neck.
The neck is a very sensual, erogenous body part for many guys, and it’s a great place to start teasing him.
Try standing or sitting behind him and letting your lips lightly brush up against the skin on the back of his neck.
Then plant small, soft kisses along the all around his neck and ears.
It’s super cute and subtle, but it can be a huge turn on!
14. Giving him a spontaneous massage.
If you want to take neck kissing to the next level, offer to give him a back rub or a massage.
Tell him to take his shirt off so you can really work his back, neck, arms, and even chest.
Take it up a notch by doing it on the bed with him lying flat and you straddling him (whether he’s on his back or stomach).
This kind of massage is almost guaranteed to get your guy thinking about sex!
15. Sharing a fantasy of yours.
Guys love women who are in touch with their sexuality and aren’t afraid to show it.
It’s like a breath of fresh air to a guy when a woman openly shares a sexual fantasy she has with him so he doesn’t have to figure out what she likes all on his own, or live in fear that his fantasies are too kinky for her.
16. Telling him what you like.
Here’s a secret: Guys are often pretty insecure about pleasing women in the bedroom because to them, it’s all about their performance.
By telling him what you know you like, he has something to work with, and he’ll automatically gain a little confidence from that.
It helps take off some of the pressure of having to perform with no roadmap so he can relax a little and enjoy your time together rather than being preoccupied with whether he’s doing everything right.
17. Talking dirty to him.
Dirty talk doesn’t come naturally to everybody, but with some practice, you can get pretty good at it and find it surprisingly arousing.
Dirty talk is another big sign of being comfortable with your sexuality.
You can engage in it by talking about a fantasy, telling your guy what you want him to do to you, and telling him what makes you feel good in general.
18. Whispering in his ear.
There’s something seriously seductive about whispering into someone’s ear.
It might be the physical closeness and intimacy that it involves, or it might be the secretive, almost “naughty” suggestiveness of it.
Whatever it is, it works as one of the biggest turn ons for guys.
Sexting is one of those activities that only really works when you’re comfortable with it and you trust the guy you’re sending messages.
When you do, it can be super hot.
You can integrate dirty talk, suggestive emojis, and promiscuous photos/videos all into your digital conversation that will drive his desire to seduce you once you see each other.
In an early relationship, you really have to be careful with what you send.
If you want to send sexy photos and videos, consider avoiding showing your face just in case those photos and/or videos end up somewhere else.
20. Any form of teasing that builds sexual tension.
Sexual tension involves any activity that builds up the anticipation of sex.
A lot of what was discussed above can create sexual tension, including touch, play, eye contact, smiling, flirting, kissing, massaging/caressing, talking dirty, and sexting.
The more you build up the anticipating for sex, the hotter it will be when you actually do get down and dirty.
21. Surprising/teasing him when you’re out in public.
A great way to trigger a guy’s arousal is by subtly teasing him when he least expects it, which typically involves any situation where you’re not both alone or or the other’s homes.
You could rub his thigh while you’re in a cab together, lean in to flaunt your cleavage in front of him while dining at a restaurant, or whisper something dirty in his ear while you’re waiting in line at the store.
22. Surprising/teasing him at home.
Surprise teases aren’t just for when you’re somewhere that you can’t have sex.
You can do that when you’re at home too.
Try greeting him at the door in nothing but your underwear, or joining him in the shower, or giving him a lap dance when he’s watching TV.
23. Being the one to initiate sex.
It’s a massive turn on for a guy when the sees that the woman he’s with actually wants to have sex with him, and it’s not up to him to get her aroused first, every single time.
It also just screams confidence.
Whether you do it by giving him a quickie or by spending an hour building up the sexual tension between the two of you is completely up to you.
24. Knowing how to move your hips.
Guys are mesmerized by women’s hips.
It might just have something to do with the fact that a woman’s hips are tired to her fertility, or that they represent the entry point for sexual intercourse (and pleasure).
Whatever it is, they love your hips, and they love them even more when you know how to tease them by moving them around.
Try practicing by moving them in circles or in figure-eights.
25. Telling him what you want him to do.
This point is similar to the one about telling him what you like, and also the one about talking dirty.
If you want him to do something very specific, tell him!
He’s not going to read your mind and figure it out himself.
You’ll get what you want, and he’ll feel good about giving you pleasure.
26. Being vocal when he’s pleasuring you.
Although there are certain circumstances where you simply can’t be vocal during sex — like if one of you has a roommate — you can certainly still make some sounds with the volume turned down.
Moaning, breathing hard, and letting out an “ooh” or “ahh” every so often all signify to your guy that he’s doing something right.
27. Placing your hands on the back of his head in missionary.
No guy wants a woman to just lie there and take it during sex.
He’s turned on by your desire for him, which you can communicate through your body language.
In the missionary position, women are pretty limited in terms of movement, which means you have to get a little creative.
Grabbing the back of his head and running your fingers through his hair is one really hot way to do it.
28. Wrapping your legs around him.
Take missionary up a notch by wrapping your legs around his torso and hooking your ankles together to draw him closer and deeper into you.
He’ll get the message that you want it bad!
29. Using your fingers and nails to pull him closer.
Once things really start heating up, move your hands from the back of his head to the rest of his upper body by grabbing his arms, touching his chest, and even running your nails up and down his back.
It’s just one extra thing you can do to remain active and engaged in missionary.
30. Building up his ego.
Guys have big egos, and when a woman knows how to stroke it, it’s a huge turn on.
Feed his ego by complimenting him and telling what he does that you really like.
Just remember to be honest!
31. Being open to trying new moves.
The best way to spice up your sex life is by trying new things.
Anything and everything can be super hot in the early days, but once the flames of the infatuation stage begin to cool down, you might be wondering how to reignite that spark again.
Talk to him about something new you want to try and ask him if there’s anything he has in mind.
Chances are he’ll be super excited that you’d even be open enough to ask!
32. Doing it anywhere but the bedroom.
The bedroom is great, but one the easiest ways to shake things up and get those sparks flying again is by changing your environment.
You don’t even need to necessarily do anything differently.
Try doing it in the kitchen, in the shower, in the car, or even in an empty movie theater.
As long as you’re not making yourself a target of public indecency or putting your safety at risk, you can definitely take your sex life out of the bedroom
33. Touching yourself.
Touching yourself doesn’t necessarily mean masturbating, although it can if you’re comfortable with the idea of doing it in from of him.
It can be something as simple as running your hands through your hair or as seductive as touching your breasts.
By touching yourself, you not only bring attention to your physical features, but also to how sensual you are.
And that’s exactly what guys love.
34. Letting him take the lead.
Guys are dominant by nature, so a guy will naturally be turned on by you submitting to him as he takes the lead during sex.
They’re especially turned on by active submission, meaning that you’re expressive and totally engaged in what you’re doing.
Sex is all about the balance of power.
By being submissive, you’re not necessarily giving away your power — you’re simply embodying and embracing your natural feminine energy.
35. Being able to be present and to let go.
When it comes to sex, or even just intimacy in general, guys want you to be full there and present in the moment.
They can be easily turned off if your mind seems to be somewhere else, or if you bring up a topic that’s totally unrelated to what you’re doing in that moment.
Likewise, guys are turned on by women who know how to be fully present in their bodies and let all their sensations overtake them.
The last thing they want is a woman who seems anxious, uptight, or passive.
36. Trusting him.
Last but not least, nothing amounts to a woman who trusts him fully — especially when it comes to sex.
When a guy sees that a woman confidently submits to him and allows him to lead her or “have his way with her,” so to speak, he knows that she’s putting all of her trust in him to take good care of her.
It makes him feel as powerful as ever and feeds his sexual desire for her.
Without the element of trust, you ultimately can’t have super high-quality sex.